Juggling Act

A friend of mine said something very similar earlier this week. I find it so frustrating to hear because where can we go from here? Women are giving the false dichotomy of being a good mom or being a whole person, one with interests outside of her child(ren). There's always something else the mother "should" do to be a better mom, but the most effective step, men stepping up and being involved fathers and partners, is never talked about.

Another issue not often talked about is how the work place and society should step up to the plate as well. That's why groups like Mom's Rising are so important. To the degree that women are paid less or denied promotions more often then their male partners, the more likely women are faced with being less valued as the bread winner and valued more as a parent. To the degree also that both parents as asked to function as single individuals with no lives outside of work, whose employers are not willing to make exceptions for them so that they really can balance work and home, the more that puts women in the position of only being valued as a partner and mother, while the male partner is only valued for his ability to bring home a higher income. I think this really effects the dynamics of a relationship, maybe even why divorce rates are higher now then in the past (I mean aside from that women felt obligated to stay in abusive relationships due to the rules of religion and society). I totally felt like Nik and I were very equal in our roles before we had our daughter. However as time goes on the more unequal our relationship becomes, as his friends, family, employer, to some degree value him as worker and not a parent and continue to re-enforce those sterotypes. The worst part is that I suck when it comes to being a mom, while Nik is naturally better at parenting then I am. So in our case our roles don't even come from actual strengths and weaknesses.

I'd love to see a post detailing how we as a society could be more supportive toward moms and encourage dads to be more involved.

I really hate to think you think your husband is "the better parent" -- that's no doubt a sleep-deprived perception you have b/c you're currently amazingly overworked right now! I have several women friends who feel this way and I just hate to see them feel this way when it's so evident to me that it is not true.
Some people will be more effective at communicating certain things or providing certain things (emotional and physical) for their kids but kids get good and bad things from both parents, many of which the parent is totally unaware of. Anyway a relationship is an ever-changing thing, whether it is parent-child or sister-sister, whatever.

I wish for you the best night's sleep tonight or really soon!!

Other than that I think your break down here:
"To the degree also that both parents as asked to function as single individuals with no lives outside of work, whose employers are not willing to make exceptions for them so that they really can balance work and home, the more that puts women in the position of only being valued as a partner and mother, while the male partner is only valued for his ability to bring home a higher income." --Is so dead-on.

I get what your saying and I agree. I meant that he is better at one on one time while our child or taking care of her during the day. I think in many ways though I am the better, more responsible role model even though my boyfriend would completely disagree with that. He also doesn't get how the way he treats me in our relationship is effecting my ability to handle frustration and stress.

Anyways thanks. I actually did get a pretty good night sleep last night and so did Rosalynn. I think she has already gotten used to me being away from her for part of the day. Work is also going really well for me and giving something to focus my time around, so I am getting more things done. Plus it's like a really positive environment where I feel like I am appreciated for what I do, unlike at home!

Yeah that's awesome you're enjoying your job and are feeling appreciated there. :)* Which is also totally rubbing off on your daughter in a positive way.
xo! Happy for you you got a good sleep!

Who is doing more work? SAHM or SAHD