Anti-Rape Bracelet
A couple of weeks ago, a young woman was sexually assaulted and killed while walking home from a bar at four in the morning. This happened in Milan, only a few feet away from my old high school. She was chatted up by a man she'd seen collecting bottles at the bar she'd been to, and she assumed that he worked there and was thus 'safe'. He wasn't.
That was the second such attack within a short period of time, and sparked renewed discussion on women's safety. One of those discussions took place in the 'opinion' section of Milan's Metro newspaper, where a female reader shared her experience of sexual abuse and whose letter had been entitled "Men are Monsters" (and while I can't swear to this, I am fairly certain it's the paper who titles the letters, not the readers). This prompted several replies by enraged men who felt misjudged and misunderstood. One particularly appalling letter was from a man who felt that women use the word 'abuse' to easily and that, at least within marriage, it is a woman's duty to pleasure her man. Another writer complained that women are too ungrateful and do not know how good they have it. This exchange took place over the course of a week, and every time I read the letters, I had to remind myself that this is indeed the 21st century.
A more public discussion within politics brought forth the suggestion that women should wear 'anti-rape' bracelets. Those would be worn around the wrist and outfitted with a GPS transmitter and be connected directly to a crisis intervention center, where police officers schooled in psychology and crisis prevention would be dispatched to aid the woman.
Aside from reinforcing the idea that women need to be the one to take action to protect themselves from attack, it also seems to be a fairly useless idea. As one journalist in the italian magazine Io Donna pointed out, the people from the crisis center would have to be sitting in their cars, motors running, in just about every corner of the city, to be able to respond in time. In that way, it is not much more effective than women walking home with '113' (equivalent of 911) already entered into their cellphone.
In the same magazine, a woman working with Telefono Rosa (a helpline for sexually abused women) pointed out that it's silly to give women anti-rape bracelets while selling pepper spray remains illegal and the government is still stalling on a law against stalking. Furthermore, only 2% of all rape cases take place in the streets. Should women then wear the bracelets to dates? While hanging out with male friends? When home alone with their husband?
And then I found an article that suggested offering special discounts on taxis during the night, so women would not have to walk home at all. Apparently, this is already a common practice in Florence and Rome. (Of course, this only works if you trust the cab driver. I remember take a taxi to the airport at 3 in the morning once and all I could think about on the one hour ride over deserted streets was that the driver could pull over and kill me at any second, and no one would notice.)
What bothers me about all of these discussions is that none of them even remotely consider the fact that, to tackle this issue, one needs to get to the root of the problem. Even the suggestions of the woman from Telefono Rosa, pepper spray and anti-stalking laws, are reactionary. I will not feel safe carrying pepper spray with me. I will feel safe when I live in a world where I don't need to carry pepper spray with me. And to get there, we need to educate everyone about rape: about where it comes from, why it happens, what it is and what it means. Giving women anti-rape bracelets is nothing more than attempting to treat a symptom. To stop rape, we need to fight the disease that causes it.
A GPS tracking device?
A GPS tracking device? Really? Why not just put it on a collar instead of a bracelet -- no need to pretend it's jewelry instead of admitting it's yet another way to control women. Why is the solution to rape always laid on women? Why is the best solution never for men to just stop fucking raping women?
Ugh, that seriously disturbs
Ugh, that seriously disturbs me, of course its always got to be up to us to stop rape. Well written Joey.
Yeah I agree that's pretty
Yeah I agree that's pretty stupid. The cab idea is stupid too. I would feel more comfortable walking him alone then riding home with a stranger controlling the car.
I'm a guy, and I don't rape
I'm a guy, and I don't rape people, so that means I've done my part, right?
You can't expect a rapist to stop raping, it's what he does. It's how he gets off, maybe the ONLY way he gets off. It's friggin sick, I concur, but to say that it is his responsibility to not rape a woman, is just down right in denial. It's like asking a bird not to fly. But how do we keep birds on the ground? We clip its wings...
I don't think pepper spray is the answer, no, not at all. I would much prefer that a woman carries a Colt .45, or a pocket revolver, or even a pocket knife; I guarantee that it will stop any further attempts by a rapist to rape you, or any woman after you. Want to end rape? End the rapist. It may be 'harsh' but I don't give a damn. That's how you have to get. And when guys figure out that [(Raping) = 4 * 2in holes in his chest], they will be less inclined to go ape shit and rape somebody. In effect, making men "just stop fucking raping women".
But that would be putting the solution up to woman, which is evidently unacceptable as well. (I bring this up, because I don't understand it. There is no sarcasm or mockery intended.) You say that calling for help is utterly useless, but handling the situation on your own is just another way to dump the responsibility on the woman. I say that giving the woman such a responsibility is empowering! The ability to end violence at a moments notice. How great would that be?!
P.S. On the issue of handguns, I realize that not all countries have gun laws as lax as the US, especially Germany, but there are alternatives. Any way to defend yourself, be it a gun, knife, pen, big stick, teeth, nails, or whatever you have to do, is much better than letting this act be carried out. Any defense, no matter how seemingly insignificant, can be an awe-inspiring deterrent. (With proper application. Aim for the head/neck)
Bandit, I am going to link
Bandit, I am going to link you to an article that Heather wrote for her site Scarleteen, so that you can get a better understanding of what makes men rapists, and why the society we live in plays a much bigger role than you seem to understand:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/boyfriend/how_you_guys_thats_right_you_guys_can_prevent_rape
Bandit no, you not being a
Bandit no, you not being a rapist does not mean you have done your part, not by a long stretch. You get zero props for that. Definitely and yes, please read the article at Scarleteen by Heather that Joey linked to just above. And forward it to friends--it is excellent and is one way to do your part in creating a world where rape is unacceptable.
To start really doing your part, as a man, and just plain human being, to end rape? Call other men out on their attitudes toward women that make rape acceptable, that triviaize rape, or trivialize women as human beings. Don't name-call womankind or tolerate womankind being name-called in your presence. Don't use the words against women that make it "okay" for them to be raped or to get killed. We all know the words. Don't financially support musicians that write lyrics full of misogyny. Don't belittle womens concerns in general. Don't specualte on what a woman was wearing or why a woman was ina particular place or out late or tooe arly or in a certain area or alone wherever or WHATEVER --when you hear about a woman getting raped. This promotes blaming the victim and it happens to almost every single rape victim. Don't despair over
a woman's violent experience because you weren't there to prevent it, or be frustrated to the point of inaction or helplessness by the fact women get raped in the first place. Okay I've shared alot of "don't"-on to "DO"--do listen to survivors' stories and mostly list (through whatever channel they are being told). Be a man who models to other men how to listen, how to even care enough to listen, and not change the channel, make a joke, or condemn the victim in some way, or comment on the looks or status or whatever of the victim. This is all part of erasing and trivilaizing the real lives and experiences of rape survivors and is another part of why rape is so prevalent. Survivors need to be heard. Comment on the sickness of a rape incident, not on how annoying it is when women get raped because they were out late, or high, or whatever. Yes women should be self protective, no, this is not the major point of the rape epidemic that has existed forever. In fact it is very very very low on the list. One should not exist at the mercy of a rape cultures whim, and chastised when they don't remember they have no "right" to exist without some man or another with a "need" (NOT--try "with a sense of entitlement")
raping them every once in awhile . DO be outraged that rape is so prevalent, and seek to understand why rape and sexual abuse is so prevalent and so accepted. It is a useful war tactic and the fact it isn't only use during war says everything. If you can, also, get your hands on any book by John Stoltenberg. He's written some good ones that help men do their part in preventing rape.
Rapists are made, not born. DO be a man who models for little boys respect of women and intolerance for violence and denigration of them. The developing of empathy and a deep value of womankind is crucial to creating a world with less rapists. Children of both genders need to be treated this way by both genders, and see true respect for women modeled. If little boys see en masse, as many do, that men hurt women and denigrate women and it's no big deal, they grow up more likely to devalue women and exploit them almost as if it's their job, and there are too many little girls who get the idea in their head it is almost their designated role to be abused, as well.
I've started to read the
I've started to read the article, and I will pass it on. I never really thought of it like that. I know women (too many, too close is all I'll say) who have been raped. I just wish I could have been there. Things would have gone differently. They would still be alive and well today. That's why I have prescribed to the women I know that carrying a handgun is a good thing.
I would like to note for Jeyoani, that the first line of my previous post was completely sarcastic. That's what it sounded like it was saying.
Oh yes. Because you need to
Oh yes.
Because you need to know where I am every minute of the day.
Bet my mother'd like that.
-.-
That is such a pissoff.
Yick!
I hate the idea of this anti-rape-bracelet. It's going to put the onus on women to prevent their own rape, and when rapists do rape them (since I doubt this device would work outside of the movies), officials are going to say, "Well, why didn't you use your bracelet?"
Bad. all. around.


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