Micki: To the Future, and Beyond!

Dear me:
How's it going? You're on the verge of turning 28, right? By this time you should have graduated college 5 years ago, meaning its close to my military contract being up, isn't it? Hope that's working out well. Are you married? If not, are you seeing anyone? Do you have kids? If so, how many? Are you still in the Marines? Did you become an officer? What did you graduate from college with? Do you still see yourself as a feminist?

Remember me, though? So close to being 18 I can taste it; dreading and dying for boot camp to come and go; dating a dorky guy you love who calls himself an equalist; going to Ft. Worth in a few days; reading Ariel Levy's Female Chauvenist Pigs after The Devil Wears Prada; trying to figure out what seems definately right and definately wrong.

Well since I'm not familiar with you yet, I just have my hopes. Remember how when we were around 5th grade we swore on never having a boyfriend because boys get in the way of the big picture (helping, learning, etc)? Well, obviously we let our heart get half in the way of that, though we still never let any guy hold us back; I hope that is still you. Remember wanting to be a very prominent, very smart, ground-breaking female scientist? Well we fell out of being interested in science, didn't we? All the same, I hope you're a very prominent female something. From this point in time, it seems I'll be climbing the ranks in the Marines, and I know it will be the hardest thing to do, but I hope you're there, at the top; because if you're not I must have found something more worthwhile and proving of myself. That is the only excuse for not being at the top; yeah, remember how I hate giving up?

I hope you're volunteering or helping somehow, doing something meaningful like I always wanted. Remember when Mom said that the reason we cried at 14 for all the kids who didn't get it was because we had the weight of the world on our shoulders? Well I just figure now that that is not such a bad thing. It provides the motivation to be a do-gooder, and I hope thats how it all turned out.

However, without judgment or anything, I wonder what your stance is on pornography? On the use of the words "twat" and "cunt" and even labelling a genre "chick flicks"? I hope you are still very anti-pornography and cringe at those words, but at least more articulate in the way you express it, and definately not as compliant as I know I am right now. I'm trying to find better ways, thinking of alternative channels in which to express this, but so far its not so great. I feel like I just sat down and started watching, not at all standing up and focusing attention. Do you remember feeling like this? There is a better way and I suppose I just need time.

Has feminism taken the backseat to the rest of your life? Remember suddenly feeling astonished at your surprising tolerance at your best friend gloating over how much better "God's Girls" are to "Suicide Girls"? I hope you don't let things like that slide. I hope you're braver than me, but less judgmental. I hope you're sharper to what's wrong, but with minimal cynicism. I hope you get the point across without instilling fear in becoming your friend. I hope you're doing well, but doing well for others too.

Love,
Me