dating

I removed this blog for personal reasons. I apologize.

As of very recently, I find myself single again. During the entire time that I have been developing my feminism, I counted myself very lucky for already being in a relationship where I was respected as an equal quite naturally. I saw all of the relationships that friends and acquaintances were having, the sexism and the gender roles that seemed to be all-pervasive in them. I listened to the people who told me that no man wants a feminist for a wife. And I always sighed with relief knowing that I was beyond all of that, that I was with someone who understood and who loved me for who I was, not despite it.

But suddenly, all of that is gone. And I am feeling terribly insecure.

There is this cycle of thought many of my friends and I share when we talk about dating. You are sure of your morals, and want to find a guy who understands/respects/shares them. You can't find a guy like that, so you complain about being lonely. You think 'maybe I'm too picky', so you lower your standards. You're unhappy with the guys you date, and therefore up your standards again, only to repeat the process.

Boys in high school are coming toward their sexual peak, usually said to be at 19. They are, therefore, insanely horny monsters, who care very little about your feelings. I do not wish this to be true, and it is probably not, but the guys bold enought to walk up and ask for your phone number are usually not shy about asking for other things later on.