goals

It really is that simple, isn't it? It sure should be.

Karine Polwart's song and video beg the wonderful question: what all ARE you women and girls going to do someday? What do you strongly want to do, for sure, but more to the point, what do you KNOW, in your guts and your heart, that you are simply GOING to do?

I turned 20 today. I looked at my past blog from my last birthday. It has several goals on it. Well I have completed none of them.

I guess this past years my goals have changed alot. The small amount of money I was able to save went into buying this house. Dirt bags does have a website, but consists of only a template and a poll. I'm not really interested in website design anymore. I've concluded I don't have the attention span for coding, or the time or the energy to read books about different coding languages. I haven't gotten a library card yet because I'm now not sure where my local library is since we moved. I still don't have my drivers license, but I did take my driving test and failed.

Since graduating, I find my dedication flagging. The real world, with its preoccupation with jobs and making the rent and other such unimportant issues, is making activism energy a little scarce.

It started with an attempt to make a new friend via those endless networking sites on the net. Things began nice enough, maybe even a little flirtatious despite my distinct lack of interest-- until I outlined exactly the feminism that I had only hinted at. You know, it's amazing how many "pro-lifers" talk about a child as a punishment for having sex. I never realized how oxymoronic the anti-choice stance could actually be; I'm amazed by the depths of hypocrisy that I must have known existed.

I feel weird writing a note to my future self. I'm not sure if there is going to be a future self or even a future. What if the world ends in the next five years? Ok, things will probably be fine and the world will still be here in the next few years. I guess I am not the type of person who thinks about the future as a real thing. I can't even imagine being 23, because I can't imagine being 19. Anyways..here goes...

Dear Future Me,
I have high hopes for you, future me person. I hope you have finally stopped being lazy and are doing something important with all of your free time. If you are reading this, it means you are on the computer...sad future me, very sad. Get up off your butt and do something, because now me has already spent enough time for the both of us being lazy. I hope you have gotten a degree or are on the way to getting your degree. If you haven't done that, then I hope you have your own small business that makes a decent amount of money. I hope you are painting, drawing or doing something involved with art because our high school art teacher would be very very disappointed in us if we never touched a paint brush again. Remember how good everyone thought I was? I also hope that you are active in politics in some way because we wouldn't want to disappoint our high school US history teacher, or even our 11th grade conservative english teacher who taught everything we said was rubbish. I hope you are vegan! I am trying so hard to become one so I hope you have stuck to it.