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I grew up in postcolonial Africa, an Africa that has everything and nothing to do with the stereotypes. That means that I grew up in tropical heat, and could drink fresh mango juice or Coca-Cola to cool down. It means that I learnt about African kings and queens in history but only in primary (elementary) school, Secondary (High) school history was spent sleeping through lectures on the Renaissance, the Industrial Revolution, the First World War. It means that I learned to read from “Peter and Jane” as well as “Mulenga and Jelita” books. It means that the Santa Claus (we called him Father Christmas) who came to our school every year to collect gifts for less fortunate kids was black, but the Jesus on the church wall was always white.

Last weekend I went up to a town called Blenheim, which is about four hour's drive from where I live (or seven hours on a damn train because our tracks s*ck so much that they bend if it's hot and the trains derail. I learned that one the hard way), to visit my big sister and brother up there for her fiancé's birthday party. It was a great weekend, and so good to see everyone up there, but a couple of things stood out to me that really bothered me about my sister’s relationship. She does everything. She does all the cooking, the cleaning, and the laundry, washes the cars, feeds the animals, takes him his lunch in her lunch break, writes to his family for him etc. Don’t get me wrong, he is a really good guy, he loves her and they have a nice relationship, but she does everything. I didn’t really know how to bring this up with my sister because I really did not want to be that member of the family who points out such things when everything seems to be going along nicely for them, but I have such strong feelings on these things that it took a lot of strength for me to sit back and watch this.

Living in a women's community means more than buying tampons in bulk. I've been living with women only for the past 4 years but only now do I understand the difference between living with women and living in a women's space.

My apartment gives off a vibe that is uniquely female. When you walk in you are likely to encounter either me or one of my roomates (or all three of us) in various stages of undress. We shower and use the bathroom with the door wide open so that we can better hear and sing along to the music that plays almost 24 hours a day.

My roomates and I spend hours a day lying on each other's bed's like clichéd 50's teenage girls but not gossiping, truly sharing. Sharing in the way that our society dismisses as "girly" and unimportant.