male-female dynamic

A Short Rant before Physics

This is a bit of a short ranting before Physics that I'll come back and edit later.

To those of you who compete physically with men - when you mess up, be it a stumble, slip or drop, do you feel as if its usually accredited to your sex? Does it drive you insane? If so - me, too. My ex plays ping-pong alot - he's gotten quite good at it with obsessive, incessant practice. At one time we were ping pong equals - now he's much better than I. From time to time, I play with him - and when I lose, it drives me insane. (Part of the reason he's better than me - Whenever I used to play with him in the college den, the incessant sexist comments drove me out. I've seriously almost cried because of it. Sad, but true. The people in there would never let me forget my gender when I competed. They'd either highlight it with 'Don't let him beat you.' or 'You go girl' - as if I was beign completely audacious to even step forth in competition with a male ... or they'd highlight it with 'Don't let a girl beat you' toward the ex or - 'You got beat by a girl'. Thus, I stopped. I feel weak for stopping, but that only makes it worse. ) I was just in there - and I bent over to catch a ball that flew my way and missed. My ex promptly jumped toward me and grabbed it. I don't know what it was about that that's gotten me on edge. There was a big crowd, perhaps.... Something about it, however, did. It seems petty, yes, and maybe I'm just paranoid, but I felt a bit of ... I really don't know what it was ... condescension, maybe ... from the eyes trained on me.

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