school

I'm free of Bowmore!

Just in time, too. They're making horrible changes to the school, turning science into a homeroom subject and making it so there's an art teacher for the eights and the sevens. The bonus is art all year... the minus is the eights get a horrid teacher.

I'm surprised. A lot of the other grade eights apparently cried at grad, but I wasn't even THERE to cry. I skipped the dance to go out of town and watch Pirates of the Caribean. Not something I regret.

The people I will miss are all in grade seven. I'm going to the same school as one of my friends, and in grade ten I'll be going to Rosedale-which is where ALL my Giftie friends are going. So yay.

So, let me see, where do I begin?

Let me begin with the fact that I've realized I still like my ex, I only hid it from everyone including myself to make life easier. Then let me move onto the fact that he likes my best friend, who likes my other best friend, who likes a friend I'm not close to but know pretty well.

I'm very confused by all this. Especially because ex and both best friends are off on some field trip, which accounts for me not being at school, because nobody else is. No point going, right?

The other reason is that I need a break. I literally cannot take this. Why is it that girls seem to obsess more than any guy I've ever met about love? I mean, I know that when my best friend David (there are three best friends) was in love with that girl, he obsessed, but he barely even notices love as a real feeling now. Same with my ex; to them, love just goes poof when a relationship ends.

I am fed up. I am confused. I am lost. I am unsure about so many things. I am somehow happy right now; but I know I won't be tomorrow, or Tuesday, or maybe even later tonight.

Why? Because for two weeks, my friends have gotten into a fight every day. For two weeks, I have argued with them constantly. For two weeks I have been completely confused. For these two weeks I've been facing my past while fighting with the present.

And I can't stand it anymore. I needed to escape and I did-for two days. Why not longer? Because there is no escape for much longer, anyway.

This is so frustrating. Especially with one situation:

Since my posts lately have been more political than personal (Earth Day and race/nation/something-ism), I've decided to post about something very personal. School.

My grades were all Bs (70%+) once upon a time. That once upon a time being Grade Six, First Term. Since then, they've been all... ew.

Things just got worse for me in terms of grades. I went from missing a fair chunk of school and barely pulling off b-s and c+s to staying at school, but getting 60%-70% because of unwillingness to work. Then I got put in a behavioural program for five months which was living hell and didn't give us report cards.

What can I say. Every single staff member involved with the grade eight students was at an assembly today.

All of them. Why?

To talk to us about behaviour. To say that our disrespect has to stop. To try and make us feel responsibility towards the school, and our own education. To make us go to the office with problems.

Here are a few of the rules they discussed: no violence-they went into a bit of detail, listen to teachers the first time, etc.

The dress code at our school is mostly fine. You know what I don't agree with? Sure, it's for learning, no short skirts, no tops too low, and no bra straps. What I don't like is the office providing shirts that are horrendously looked after. It's our right to wear it, and it's possible to have a bad day and forget about the code. Remind us, and we'll be OK the next day; only if it becomes a repetitive problem...

So I found out this weekend that I am going to be inducted into the National Honor Society at my high school! And as a sophomore as well! Not a very common occurence, as it happens. I feel immensely proud of this, and I would like to thank each and every one of you, because I put my activity here on my application!!

Love you all!
Kym

Well, I have about half an hour here on my mom's computer. Mine died last week. But I saw something that I have to post.

Our teacher, I'll call him Mr.S for short, gave us an assignment to do for English. This assignment is to find an article in a newspaper and write an essay (he gave us a format) about said article. I was looking for an article today.

There are two that I'll mention.One is that two women in Markham were killed in the same house. The strange thing is, this was the house of a sportscaster and his wife. Well, one of the women was his wife. The other was the woman he was having an affair with. What they were doing in the same house at 3AM, I don't know. Two daughters were left behind. My heart reaches out to them. I know it hurts to lose a parent.

Perhaps some of you have seen this article in reference to the women of Japan as baby making machines. (Can you see the angry vein popping out of my forehead?) Perhaps a little background information is required here. Japan is experienced a declining birth rate. This means that the percentage of aging folks in relation to younger tax payers is skewing in a rather non economical way. I figure, that if young couples in Japan are barely even able to afford to live together thanks to the current economy what is going to make them want to have children - never mind several?

I recently told my mom that she's not gettting me a birthday gift for my eighteenth. She's helping me move out.

Why? I decided two years ago that I wanted to move out, and become independant, the moment I turn eighteen. Since then I've done a little bit of saving money, and a lot of hard work.

Since we moved, my grades have actually gone down. Now I have a few friends, and waaay more distractions; I don't have a reason to spend all my lunches indoors anymore, I have nothing to fear. And so my grades have slipped, and while I know I have four years to get them back up, and above what they were (I think to get into Ryerson w.scholarship I'll need something like 95% GPA) but I feel kind of guilty.

I feel as though over the last few days I have been inundated with sexist comments and commercials. I sit at a lunch table with a couple of guys, who are all close friends. I am pretty close with half of them, and I've dated two of them. But the other day we were all joking around, and one boy did not seem to think what we said was very funny (had he said it, of course this would be a different story), so he said "Zen, you're such a twat."

I'm not sure why this triggered an ultra-sensitive feminist switch inside me, but since then I have heard so many insults and seen so many diet pill commercials, I'm beginning to wonder if being a woman is as amazing as I thought it was.

Today I read an article about women who have given up their uteruses to Jesus. These “Quiverfull” parents aim to bear six or more children, rejecting all forms of birth control as a defiance of Christ’s divine power over women’s reproduction capabilities. “Our bodies are meant to be a living sacrifice” states one family, and their children are future soldiers in God’s army.

I have to write an essay for Biology. I wanted to choose something that I was interested, like how progestrin inhibits ovulation or the method of action mifepristone uses to terminate a pregnancy, but those topics are too controversial. However, I still wanted to choose a topic related to reproductive health, so I chose amniocentesis and its effect on fetal development and maternal health.

Even so, I see traces of feminism around school and try to inject more into each day. In history, our textbook said that ancient Mesopotamian and Egyptian women had many of the same freedoms as men, which sparked a discussion on whether they were indeed truly free- when one pointed out that there were female queens and pharohs, my history teacher fired back that because they were women, they had to don fake beards and male dress, essentially acting like men.

Guys I realize it has been forever and a year and I intend to get back on track (it seems like I say that a lot lately)...

This month, October, has been a month of broken dreams and trying moments. First off, a dear friend of mine was arrested and incarcerated. It is not necessarily a surprise, we all saw it coming, but his troubles still hurt me deeply and I found myself somewhat depressed over it.

Secondly, I found out that someone I have known my whole life is HIV positive, and rather than being supportive, many of the people this person is close to have blamed and shunned this new status. I feel worst of all because I know how commonplace the disease is and how horrifying it can be, but I feel as though I can say nothing because I am too young and not close enough. It is a powerless feeling.

Okay, well along with everything else that happened, the social worker talked to me yesturday. I hadn't spoken to her in a month or more, so I didn't remember the conversation more than a little bit.

She said she got in touch with some doctor. Apparently, in our last conversation, I had said I wouldn't mind a self-assessment or something being done to find out what exactly my problem is, or if I'm clinically depressed, or something like that. Which is all very confusing.

Anyway, she was going to tell me tomorrow about this doctor person. But now I'm suspended, I wonder what'll happen?

Tomorrow's the day of the Halloween dance. It's been a very bad week. Some of this may be triggering, as it briefly describes some violent acts.

Tuesday-

On Tuesday I got sent home. I asked my French teacher if she was a 'crack whore' half on a dare and half to bug her, because I really don't like her. So I was sent down to the office. Ms. White, my vice principal, sent me home for the afternoon. I went back after school for choir, and was allowed to go the next day. I'm now temporarily exempt from French until they have a teacher-student-VP meeting sooner or later.

That day went fairly well, and I spent time with my kittens.