sexual violence

A couple of weeks ago, a young woman was sexually assaulted and killed while walking home from a bar at four in the morning. This happened in Milan, only a few feet away from my old high school. She was chatted up by a man she'd seen collecting bottles at the bar she'd been to, and she assumed that he worked there and was thus 'safe'. He wasn't.

That was the second such attack within a short period of time, and sparked renewed discussion on women's safety. One of those discussions took place in the 'opinion' section of Milan's Metro newspaper, where a female reader shared her experience of sexual abuse and whose letter had been entitled "Men are Monsters" (and while I can't swear to this, I am fairly certain it's the paper who titles the letters, not the readers). This prompted several replies by enraged men who felt misjudged and misunderstood. One particularly appalling letter was from a man who felt that women use the word 'abuse' to easily and that, at least within marriage, it is a woman's duty to pleasure her man. Another writer complained that women are too ungrateful and do not know how good they have it. This exchange took place over the course of a week, and every time I read the letters, I had to remind myself that this is indeed the 21st century.

Safe Spaces, Part One.

This past week we held my school’s annual event where we discuss sexual violence, using testimony, music, dance, poetry, skits and other things to express our feelings and personal experiences with sexual violence, assault, rape, and our culture. Usually I am scared of those sorts of events, scared because of what I might hear, and intimidated by the vulnerability that those who choose to speak display. But I went, and I chose to speak a piece written by Heather (--it was extremely well received!!!) excerpted from her journal, and discussing the culture we live in and how rapists are created and protected within it. I was scared to read it. I don’t know if some of the experiences I have had could be classified as sexual assault (certainly not rape), but my voice trembled as I saw myself in some of the women that did speak.