society

Big News: Nicole Richie's Baby is in Danger!

Well according to Star Magazine anyways. Her days of "hard living" could cause her 12 week old fetus to be miscarried or suffer from birth defects.

What about HER life? What about her dying from her anorexia that the media claims she has (I'm not saying that she does or does not have an eating disorder, just that the media is making that claim not Nicole Richie or her family), what about her dying when she was driving on the wrong side of an LA freeway, what about her life when the media claimed she was doing "heroin and pills"? Why when she makes the "right" decision according to the conservatives in our society and continues her pregnancy despite her battles with addiction, is she being set up to become the next "bad mommy" in our media? Why does our media care more about Nicole Richie's fetus, then Nicole Richie?

One thing I have noticed in the three weeks I have spent in Canada so far is that society here is much less forgiving of sexism than in my own home of New Zealand. The first night I arrived in Canada I managed to catch a bit of the news where a rapist had been released from prison and there was a huge crowd protesting his release so near to a school. At home it seems people are not so vocal about such things, especially when it is about the safety of women.

I always had a hard time explaining to friends over the internet who are from this area how hard it is for a woman to really be vocal about being a survivor at home. Reporting is hard in any case, but at home once you report, as a woman you are stirring up a whole lot of trouble that people dont want to know about. Especially in my case where the man was so close to my family.

So, I was thinking... Yesturday, for Easter, we went to my cousin's house. Now, one of my cousins will be twenty years old next Friday. She's in university, she's a great person, and I really enjoy her company.

At this dinner were some of her friends. They were all really cool. We watched the movie 300, talked, hung out, and generally enjoyed ourselves. It was a lot of fun.

Today, I was looking at places to submit my writing to and saw a couple all girl magazines. That got me thinking about girls in general... ones I like, and ones I don't like, and why.

But I realized something. Something I had never thought of before. Sure, I don't get along with most girls, I don't get along with the ones who buy into beauty standards and go anorexic. I don't get along with a lot of them.

Burglary. Kidnapping. Embezzlement. Arson. These and other crimes. What do they all have in common?

When people come forward to report them, those reports are believed until evidence suggests otherwise.

So why is it that rape or sexual assault and charges related to domestic abuse are so suspected regardless of the geographic area where they are reported? What is it that they have in common?

Women are by far the victims and reporters of these crimes. The distrust of women, the malevolence of the female, the demonization of femininity are motifs through out the world and through out history. Are these the traditions that cause women around the globe to be undervalued and untrusted? Is it the fear of the status quo (read: old men in their respective cultures) that these allegations will lead to their hierarchical unseating?

Last semester was full of stress and surprises for me, which is why I haven’t been around on the AGA so much. In addition to adjusting to being away at college and adjusting to being a transfer student at a school with a wildly different academic program, another big change for me was that I broke up with my girlfriend of two years, and shortly after that became involved with a man. Although I’d always been a bit uncomfortable with the “lesbian” label, I’d only ever dated women and never really anticipated getting seriously involved with a man. As a queer woman in an opposite-sex relationship, a lot of things came as a surprise to me, particularly how we’re perceived by people we don’t know.

Last night my boyfriend and I attended a holiday party that was being thrown by the company he works for. It was my first night out since having the baby. So like at most adult functions, one of the first questions people asked me was "So, what do YOU do?"...what I could I say... that I was a student, a graphic designer (that's what my boyfriend keeps calling me, but so far the only things I have 'graphically designed' have been ideas for political buttons), a knitwear designer, a blogger, an artist, or heck just admit I was unemployed? Instead I said words I never thought I would say, "Well I guess I'm a stay-at-home mom right now". Just writing these words make me cringe.

Where you can be too obsessed with feminism? This issue came up recently with my boyfriend when he said that while he admires my views, that I've gotten too into it and that it's taken over my life.

By that he means- I currently read books about women's issues, most of the books I'm reading right now are indeed about them. This is because I feel that I need to keep up, and read all the feminist "classics" in order to understand them, the history of the movement, and references to such books- The Feminine Mystique, The Vagina Monologues, Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions, The Beauty Myth, those books. But it's not ALL I read- it's just something I feel needs focus at this time.

The most recent rash of school shootings is as jarring as its predecessors, but no one seems to be noticing the trend: what makes it such a crime to be young and female? Jessica over at Feministing brought this up earlier, and I realized I wasn't the only one whose mind went for the political as I watched the Amish families and children waiting outside of their school.

In reporting both shootings that monopolized this week's headings (along with the statutory sexual harassment perpetrated by the ex-co-chair of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children), no one in the mainstream media had bothered to note that the adult male shooters had specific victims in mind: namely, young girls. Duane Morrison of the Platte Canyon High School hostage situation sexually assaulted the young girls he isolated before assassinating one; Charles Carl Roberts actually released the adults and boys before lining up and executing a line of girls in front of their classroom blackboard. Why is two and two so difficult to put together? Why is no one reporting on the blatant and dangerous misogyny that drove these two admittedly catastrophic and heartbreaking events?

There is some strong content in this entry regarding adult entertainment.

This past week, I have been flying to and fro, trying to help my friend Haley with a controversial career choice. She has long mused over the dream of becoming an exotic dancer—a stripper, more plainly said—at one of our local topless clubs. In support of my darling's happiness, I have spent a great deal of time with her at this club: for leisure, for studying the dancers, for applying, for auditioning. Which was all fine and dandy the first night… but every visit thereafter was simply draining.

Our society is not very friendly in terms of how it treats us per appearance. This is true whether you do not meet conventional beauty standards or whether you hit the nail on the head; both ends of the spectrum have an equal amount of hardship. Imagine spending your week in an environment that hyper-exaggerates the consequences of societal aesthetics…

We all fall victim to the patriarchy's virgin-whore dichotomy--as women, real or fictional, we're assigned one or the other with no opportunity to plead our case. We're terrified of being overlooked and terrified of being oversexualized, which is a problem because most of us fall in a middle ground where we feel comfortable.

I acknowledged this truth early on and decided I'd rather be the sexy girl than the cute girl. I was open and confident, even brazen, with my male friends and always had a boyfriend; even since then not much has changed. Feeling that I had to choose one or the other, I chose the sexually adventurous, the flirtatious, the "yes" over the "no." And yet, in spite of this decision, I am still painted as one of the good girls. Now as a feminist, I'm still a good girl--but I have an asexual activist streak to boot.

My mother wanted me to sign up for summer camp. So, OK, I took a look at the websites, and I looked at the 'a day at Bellaleo' thing and a couple others.

Then, because of some fatal error with the list of things I'll need for camp, poof, I'm at the webbie again. I'm trying every link I DIDN'T look at. And all of a sudden, I come to the scheduling page. This is at the point of absolute desparation.

August 12: Girls Session Begins.

Um...WTH? It's...all...girls...? I'm on the phone with my best friend, trying to figure out if she'll be able to sleep over after the next Mug (a monthly Pagan thing, and she won't) and suddenly...I'm going to be trapped for two weeks at an overnight camp...with three or four other girls in my cabin...and a lot more in the entire camp...

Tomorrow is a day I will forever hold close to my heart, and forever celebrate in tears. Tomorrow is July 27th, the birthday of a dead man. The birthday of Daddy.

I loved Daddy. We were so extremely close. I remember all the hugs, the naps, the role playing...everything. I remember when he was diagnosed, somehow believing he would live.

I remember the last birthday. I remember how we went up to the cottage, which was so much fun. I remember how we spent the time there. I went into, and loved, the water, and he worried and made sure I had a life jacket on 'cause of the fact that I can't swim.

I've been talking a lot to my friend Nikki. She lasted about two weeks without talking to me-more than I expected from her.

We had some really...interesting discussions. There was the talk of death, and why everything happens. And why it all happens to screw up when it comes to our lives and not everybody else's.

I think it's time to pry into these subjects. Partially because I'm bored of debating violence and war for a while, and I want to talk about something else. When a debate lasts a long time sometimes you need a break, really. Partially because I wanted to show you more of my life.

With the oversexed social atmosphere that America's, and really the world's, young people are thrust into, it's hard to find one's own happy middle ground, a place where comfort and readiness balance out the dismembered women (and increasingly men too) trying to sell us perfume and alcohol among other things. Is it any surprise that public displays of affection are so varied and audacious when "former feminist" Nelly Furtado's latest hit focuses the promiscuity of herself and the guy she's attracted?

PDA, in the general usage, is something above and beyond public decency, which makes it a very subjective matter. While some may find mouth kissing too much, others may be more offended by putting a hand in a significant other's pocket. And what happens when the PDA is committed by those in a same-sex couple? Do the rules change? And if they do, I hope there's a good reason--scratch that, I hope the speaker has a legitimate excuse; and no, "I don't wanna see no f*****s kissin'" does not qualify.

I've noticed that there seems to be a lack of Feminist media-when I look on the right, I see the same books over and over again. There's not that much of what we see as 'feminist' literature. So I wanted to open your eyes, and talk about why I became a writer.

My original inspiration was-unfortunately-one JK Rowlings, a single mom who struck it rich, straight into the top 25 richest people list, with Harry Potter. A series of books which I used to adore. Now I could care less, but I'm still a writer thanks to her. I carried on with my inspiration-it had become a part of who I am.

Then there was Silver Birch club. A reading club-an excellent idea. If you EVER hear about Silver Birch, or it's companions, I would seriously encourage siblings/cousins/neighbours to look into it for kids in grades 4-6.